1/1/14

So I'm sitting here alone on New Year's Day trying to finish writing about my favorite albums of 2014, and I'm trying to care about these little moments I can remember with these songs and why they matter and why I liked them, and I keep stopping myself, thinking what is the point? What does a list like this even mean? Especially when published on a blog no one reads?

At the moment, I guess it is something to do with my hands. But I also know the importance of reflection, of finding meaning in our memories. I am so attached to my music. I am so inspired by it and connected to it, it sorts the feelings into boxes and puts them where they need to be. I am never alone when I have songs in my ears, in my head, or my heart, and this is a lifesaver, in no uncertain terms. If that sounds insipid or overdramatic to you, then you have never wrestled with emotions so intense you can't breathe, so overwhelming you cannot think, only to be brought back down to earth by something other than yourself - for me, that something is most often music. I may be struggling today but I won't be struggling forever, at least, not anymore than I always was or ever would be, and sitting here typing, replaying my favorite songs of the year, might be the best way to stay grounded tonight. So here goes, here's what I loved in 2014, with the best reflection my tired, tragic memory can provide:

This Wild Life - Clouded
So emo, so angsty, and still so pretty. This was an evening record, mostly, or a Saturday afternoon jam. These songs are little stories you can wrap your head around, and harmonies you can sing along with, easy chords to strum. These songs lash out with some serious spiteful lines, but they're so gentle in their own way.  Just a lovely little record worthy of attention, especially in sadness.

"And I just need a day, to shed this dead weight, and to get my head straight
I just want to let go, I just want to be left alone."

Coldplay - Ghost Stories 

Chris Martin at his most maudlin gave me so much solace this year. I don't care of the critics panned it. I thought "Ghost Stories" was beautiful, and sad, and strange and even trendy, at times. It didn't try too hard, its muted drums and elegant little trills are so soft and rich. This record is the middle of the night and early in the morning, it is the hours no one else needs to see.

"Call it magic, cut me into two
And with all your magic, I disappear from view
And I can't get over, can't get over you
Still, I call it magic, such a precious truth"

Have Mercy – A Place of Our Own
Please keep pulling my heart strings, Brian Swindle. I sang-screamed so much to this record and it felt so good every time. I love how this band manages a scene-appropriate aggression with poignant, intelligent metaphors and lyrics. They're so dramatic. I love the way they toy with dynamics, not afraid to get too loud or too soft in anticipation of what's to come. "The Earth Pushed Back" has its own relevance in 2014 but this new release gave me something to hold onto. Expecting to play this more in 2015, starting tomorrow, probably. 

"I'm the pawn and you're the rook, 
And you played me like a crook, 
I never wanted it to end this way."

Ryan Adams - Ryan Adams
Some people are just born gifted. Ryan Adams is one of those people. No matter how long he stays away he comes back with something brilliant and beautiful, like it just pours right out of his soul to play excellent guitar and write heartfelt, resonating songs. "Gimme Something Good" was an anthem of sorts, as was "Feels like Fire," but its the slower, very songwriter-y moments that make up the meat of Adams' self-titled,  and he shines in this kind of arrangement. He is troubled and sad, he is older and wiser, but I will never tire of the lessons Ryan Adams has to offer, from the structure of a pre-chorus to the capacity to live with regret.  

"Just so you know, you will always be the hardest thing I will let go 

Driving past your church and all the houses in a row, feeling in my chest is fire." 

Taylor Swift – 1989
It's so good. It's so, so good. Of course it is. She's something of a generational icon at this point, I'd say, and I'm not going to join the ranks of the eye-rolling haters who are probably just jealous there's someone talented and beautiful out there. I've never heard a Taylor Swift record I didn't like and "1989" is full of so many excellent, smart, full-feeling moments that prove what a great songwriter she is. This album is vulnerable and mature, but also quite hopeful, and for that I've found it a pretty reliable listen in most moods.  It is also draped all over my last quarter of 2014. I don't think I'll ever be able to listen to this album and not remember the feel of a hand in mine, singing to someone who seemed not mind listening, the way the hillsides along the Ohio River shone in the afternoon sun. 

"So it's gonna be forever
Or it's gonna go down in flames
You can tell me when it's over
If the high was worth the pain."

The Hotelier- Home, Like No Place There Is
 What a fantastic find this band was....I am hooked on their tenor and tones, I am floored by their words, and I am wishing that I had more to say about this record that I've listened to so many times. I hope we hear more this band, because I think they're onto something with the big-time choruses, and the drawn-out melodies, and the scathing honesty of pain and promise and self-destruction that lurks all over this record. I'm glad young, scrappy bands like The Hotelier are still out there making excellent indie rock music. I'm glad they give off something dark and just a little tormented, unashamed to be equal parts fragile and aggressive, which is really something of a combination, when you get down to it.

"I called in sick from your funeral 
The sight your family made me feel responsible."

The Menzingers - Rented World
If I were in a band, I'd want it to be like The Menzingers. I fell hard for this band in 2013, in Pennsylvania, their home state, and I've only grown more attached to them. "Rented World" felt heavy and dark compared to their past productions, and maybe it was a little more serious than the pop-punk, mosh-prone crowds of their youthful fan base could handle, but I took it to heart, I embraced it fully. Really hope this band continues to tour, continues to write, continues to wow me with their mastery of the pop punk song, although their sound transcends, mostly through vocals and the hint of jams, into something a little more broad sometimes. "Rented World" is a jaded record, it is over everything, and I fucking love everything about it, because that is the kind of company that is  hard to find in a world where faking it is so damn profitable, so damn easy, so damn common.

"I've tried running, I've tried hiding, I've tried everything but dying
Damn the days we took for granted, never again will I let alone close to me.
Yeah, me and the rodent in the wall have more in common after all."

The War on Drugs – Lost in the Dream
Sprawling, echoing and gorgeous, how could anyone listen to this and not fall in love? What I love most about this record is how contemplative it is, but with a layer of lonely discovery somewhere close to the foundation. It never loses its cool but dips into darkness, exploring all sorts of strange sonic places yet unheard by modern audience. There's influences aplenty, but the sound is something of its own creation - it is so damn difficult to make something this effortless. This is easily one of the most acclaimed records of the year, but I will love it always for other reasons, too, for the wistful state its mere mention, let alone a listen, inflicts on my mind. 

"Love’s the key to the things that we see
And don’t mind chasing
Leave the light on in the yard for me"

Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties – We Don’t Have Each Other
For when you heart is at your knees. For when your head is in dark places. For when inspiration can't be found. In a critical sense, Dan Campbell's side project is an incredible display of passion, intensity, talent and literary guise; from a personal standpoint, this album is a friend in depression, a companion for constant sadness. The scenes of New York and cars and bars are so vivid to me, and there's something cinematic about the narrator's desolation that I find quite a familiar story. I won't ever forget meeting Campbell at the Four Chords Music Fest this year, and telling him how great I thought this album was. "Thank you," he said, nodding slightly, and an hour later he'd go on to tear it the fuck up fronting The Wonder Years. I might not work in the business, I might not surround myself with musicians and bands the way I once did, but I do know a true talent when I see it. This guy's got it.

"If I lay here long enough, maybe the bugs will eat me whole.
If I stay here long enough, maybe the night would take me home."

Copeland - Ixora
It's difficult for me to explain how much I've loved this album in the latter of this year. I can't think of any other record that came out in 2014 that was so closely intertwined with my mornings, my nights, my thoughts and feelings. It is sad, it is sweet, it is symphonic, it is oddly experimental and it is strength is subtle. There's no question this is my favorite album of the year, because no other has been as much a comfort. This album is hearts too heavy to sleep and knees to weak to stand, it is compassion and kindness found in the most unlikely places, it is desire mixed with perspective, which is such a strange, beautiful combination. I love how serene even the most heightened of moments are. I am so happy this band came back, especially now, at this time, when the sound of something familiar and fresh is so necessary, and also because time has only made their accomplishments more pronounced and produced. The tapestry of strings, guitars and drumskins is balanced so perfectly. You hear so much of the room on this record. I smile to think of all the studio hours spent pouring over this, because to me, that is dedication to perfection and striving to make your work shine the brightest it can, and I am inspired by that. I am in love with the love poured into this record, and its story of sensual struggle. Can't wait to get it on vinyl. I hope to get lost in "Ixora" over and over again, hope to feel comforted by it and feel satisfied by it. Something tells me, reflecting on the moments I've spent with it so far, that might be the soundest start to this next year I can hope for.

"You’re still a breeze upon my skin, close my eyes, breathe you in.
I’m still the shadows in your night, taking over, until I fade into your light.
But you won’t erase me.
Heaven or hell will have to wait.
You won’t erase me.
So you just color me from grey."

Honorable Mentions

Modern Baseball
I saw this band three times in 2014. The only other bands I’ve seen that many times are Brand New and Jimmy Eat World, which are my favorite bands ever, which is funny to me, but they tour like animals and their songs are fun as heck. Definitely a standout act of the year.

Angels & Airwaves
I am so hooked on The Wolfpack but haven’t gotten my hands on a copy of the album. Just glad they’re back, as I will never tire of this band’s spacey, delay-fueled aesthetic.

Ingrid Michaelson
"Lights Out" has some really excellent moments.  That hook in “Girls Chase Boys” is some kind of earworm. She continues to a preeminent songwriter.

letlive.
I’ll never forget the look of Jason Alan Butler dropping rose petals from his hands around the mic, and when he climbed up the speakers to the balcony at Altar Bar, latching onto the base only to shimmey across with a mic cord around his neck, then crowdsurf back to the stage. More shows like this in 2015, please.

Brand New
I saw Brand New at Stage AE in Pittsburgh this year. They continue to amaze.They continue to toy with their fanbase in these miserable little ways, teasing recordings and studio time and old-new tracks. Brand New is going to put out an album next year Actually, they probably won’t. But they could. They should. They will. I think.

Here's to all there will be to listen to in 2015, and all the hope, comfort and companionship those albums, too, will provide.

9/8/14

What do hearts sound like when they break at 4 a.m.? What does it sound like when the light is gone, when the conscious mind goes dark and detached from the best of experience and intention?

It sounds a little like floating, a little like falling. Visceral and delicate. Fragile. It sounds spacey, with intense, focused vulnerability. These sounds, nearly angelic, are bright and flickering and patient with themselves and everything I am not.

I put this album on the shelf most of this summer, after initial captivation. I enjoyed its sound despite its critical flop, I thought its ambiance was moving and heartfelt and captured a quality blend of electric sounds and rich, deep layers. But I thought it was really sad, it was kind of a downer and tells sad, sad stories, and I just wasn't there with it, at least, I didn't want to be, and now, tonight, this song is kind of my own sad story and the perfect accompaniment to my insomniac misery, the kind that lasts on repeat for hours and obsessives over small details in memories, like long, elegant fingers tracing my arm, like whispers echoed close against my neck. So too can I fixate on the small details in sounds, in delay, the soft swell of blissfully faked-out strings and synths, of two-to-three note piano melodies tying together one-off lines, simple and clear and resounding.

Thoughts are dangerous weapons, and the night is a silent, still place where they ravage and tear peace to bits. Best to give them something to slice up, something to occupy their vicious progression as the hours pass and the sky lightens and the dark doesn't feel so lonely anymore.



"I think of you, I haven't slept 

I think I do, but I don't forget.

 My body moves, goes where I will 

But though I try my heart stays still 

It never moves, just won't be led 

And so my mouth waters to be fed 

And you're always in my head,

You're always in my head.

This I guess is to tell you

You're chosen out from the rest."

~Always In My Head
Coldplay, Ghost Stories

9/23/12

Someone explain to me how it is the the 23rd of September in the year 2012. I just don't understand how fast time can move. It is beyond comprehension.

So this happened today. It's a little rough, the angle is not exceptionally flattering, but how fun it was! Something to remind me I still remember what it's like to feel creative, hence I have something to wake up in the morning for:

You should tell me if you liked it. Feedback of all types not unwelcome.

3/25/12

Apparently Look Mexico is into hunting, subject matter suitable for the video to their first track of their 2010 release, which is in my daily rotation. Illuminating the everyman, he who hangs with friends and kisses hounds, it makes the band seem pretty fun. But I think there's more to say for this song than the video says, though.

There's fed-up anger here, and it speaks to me in time signatures.

"When you live out your time/In hope of impossibility/We stripped down lies/We treated you like family/Credit where credit is due/Now the bureau is looking for me/So as you thank us for our patience/Expect something else, not a thing/and I thank you/I'll thank for/Thank you for absolutely nothing"
~You Stay. I Go. No Following
Look Mexico, To Bed, To Battle

Literary worlds are inflamed wtih income inequality tales, academic journals are quick to point out problems and debate each other's solutions. Everyone's talking. But where's the music on this? It's there in a pop track or two, an occasional reference to money or fame ("I Wanna be a Billioniare," that damn song) or escape (think Coldplay's "Paradise"). Fleet Foxes did a pretty good job capturing the feeling of it all on "Helplessness Blues," but commentarywise, the album speaks to the individual far more so than the whole of the culture or its direction.

One of the constant drawbacks of pop culture is it's always trying to define itself into what it wants to be, rather than be what it is. Underground, you find the antidote. Underground, you can call the spade a spade. But I've yet to come across a force inspired recent events in recent years, unless I'm forgetting somebody.

Essentially, where is my Guerilla Radio about derivatives?

12/14/08

This song is a hidden gem on Viva La Vida, I think. Sounds more like the Coldplay I got to know on X & Y.

9/8/08

It's nice to know even Chris Martin has bad days.

Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I'm in a cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one

And you'll be lost
Every river that you try to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
And I'm just waiting till the firing stops
And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
-Coldplay, Lost
Viva La Vida

Yes, "Viva La Vida" wasn't anything too spectacular, but I like this tune. In both it's arranged and acoustic forms. It's uplifting, in a spiritual-but-not-about-Jesus kind of way.

I get what he says with this song.

There's always gonna be people to keep you down, people who judge you and people who can make you feel like you're nothing--intentionally, or without even noticing. A simple message, a simple lesson, but it's one that hurts a little bit to learn.

I trust that as the years go on, you feel less and less lost. At least, that's what I'm holding out for.

7/30/08

While looking up synonyms for "song" in Microsoft Word, the helpful little tool gave me two nouns: "cry" and "noise."

What a fantastically emo combination--though true in a poetic sense, I suppose. I bet that paper clip listens to Coldplay.