5/5/12

I shouldn't be surprised, that I always seem to end up in the same place. And I don't like saying "always," because nothing is ever truly permanent, but it's startling to me how easily I fall into the same traps. How the unreachable becomes a beacon. How often I mistake conflict for comfort - what a mess that can make.

Other things reoccur, too. Like how what I have and who I am is never good enough. And how I can't just let myself relax. How I can never decide if I made the right decisions, if I kept the right people around, or if I let the wrong ones go. These are secret traps of my mind, and when I fall down the chute it is difficult to climb back up. But the uphill climb is getting faster. With age comes certain types of agility.

This song makes me think of those loves that never die, the kind that I remember when I'm in a difficult place, like I am feeling tonight. It's entirely simple but entirely beautiful, with a slowly building structure that erupts into vivid glimpses of what makes up love and feeling and life. An ode to the best parts of life we all get to live out in one way or another. It will be enough. And the turn of phrase at the end - the following love home, to love following you. It's one in the same, isn't? Don't we carry our love with us, wherever we go? It may feel, often, that we're alone, that we've left and it's gone but it's all still there. In our fragile, selfish, scared heart. You can sense it in those places you know too well.

Something tells me this guy pours it all out on a stage.


"I will follow love all the way home 
I will follow love all the way home 
Though it breaks my back and leaves me all alone 
I will follow love all the way home 


Though I'm sad you've gone away 
I hear love, it goes by different names 
Though your parting dims the day 
Nearly put me in my grave 
I will follow love all the way home 


Home- where the bedroom smells like clean clothes 
Home- where it's alright in the cosmos 
Home- you don't think so, but you're so close 
Home- if it's not balanced, then it's almost 


I will follow love all the way home 
I will follow love all the way home 
Though it breaks my back- and leaves me all alone 
I will follow love all the way home 


For those afraid to die alone 
Think of all the friends that you have known 
And every blade of grass 
Every face that kissed you back 
All the sunsets and pouring rain 
Every joy and holy pain 
Every kiss and bloody stain 
Ah, the proof that we have lived
In no beginning and no end
Every flash of light you've seen
Every color, every dream
Will be forever singing on 
In the holy mind of God
The immortal burning sun with 
Every person that you've loved
And I swear it will be enough. 
And you'll be there 


And Love will follow you all the way home 
Love will follow you all the way home."

~I Will Follow Love All The Way Home
Tyler Lyle, The Golden Age & Silver Girl